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Culture
INTRODUCTION
All enduring marriages ultimately end with
the death of either the husband or the wife or both. The
death of a spouse may be the most extreme life crisis
because, it severs some of the deepest emotional bonds
established in a lifetime.
However, the disorganizing and traumatic
experience, which accompanies death of husbands, tends to
be greater on women than that of men when they loose their
wives. Where as the wife immediately becomes the primary
suspect for her husband's death, the man is immediately
offered an appropriate substitution to comfort him upon
the loss of his wife.
This because, from time immemorial,
societies have always been male dominated and are still
so, all over the world. Women have always been relegated
to the background and, traditions and customs in Nigeria
clearly rob women of their rights and privileges. Dr.
Babatunde Ahosi, a sociologist says, "The differentiation
between men's and women's role in Nigeria as with other
societies is one of complementary and superior
relationship in favor of the men. It involves a hierarch
in which... men are given greater leverage over
decision-making and resources than women. The result is a
cultural setting that invariably promotes male domination
and female subordination"
Stemming from this fact, "women are treated
like chattels (properties), especially widows..." 2 and
the prevalence of witchcraft accusation, widows are
subjected to a trial by ordeal (as prime suspect in the
demise of their husbands). The severity of these trials,
vary in different states and Local Government Areas, in
order to prove their innocence. They are subjected to a
variety of ardous and degrading rites that violate some of
their human rights and erode their self-esteem. One of
such, was the custom of inhuman mourning such as "wailing
loudly for several days before their husbands. Widows
whose wailings were adjudged as inadequate were accused of
being responsible for the death of their husbands."
3 After wailing, followed the moment of
confinement/seclusion either in their husband's house or
in special huts for various periods of time. During this
period, widows experienced several degradations and
deprivations. Several practices were introduced to make
widows uncomfortable and unattractive. Hair from different
parts of their bodies were scraped and burnt; some wore
mourning clothes which where never washed nor changed
except the widows could afford more than one set; they
were denied basic comforts such as bath and their normal
food habits were restricted.
Disinheritance tends to pauperize some
widows so much that they lack the means of sustaining
themselves and their children "...particularly if they do
not accept relatives allocated to them as their new
husbands." 4 widowhood practices differ from one location
to another even within the same domain, however what
remains a general fact is in addition to her loss and its
attendant consequences, she is subjected to the whims of a
culture she has no control over and to which she must
submit her self to.
An overview of widowhood practices in the
six zones of Nigeria presents different practices
generally tampered by peculiarities of culture, religion
and other social indices.
SOUTHWEST -ONDO STATE
When a husband dies, the widow goes into confinement for
seven days. During this period she is not allowed to go
out, even to the toilet or, take her bath. On the seventh
day, her head is shaved to sever the bond between her and
the dead husband. She also keeps a vigil and appears very
sorrowful by wailing and crying profusely. If she fails to
mourn, it is believed that "she may become mentally
deranged, or forfeit the right to any benefit." 5. After
this, she goes into mourning proper, which is for a period
of three months. During mourning, she is to be of
impeccable behavior so that her late husband's spirit may
gain quick entry into the community of his ancestral
spirits. The widow is not expected to court, leave the
family, go away with the children, or look in the mirror
for fear of seeing the deceased. Until recently, she was
not allowed to sit on the bed.
This period is also used to ascertain whether the widow is
pregnant or not. At the end of three months, she performs
the outing ceremony. She is then free to remarry into the
family. A widow may however, refuse to be inherited even
if her late husbands's family want it so likewise, a man
may equally refuse to inherit his late brother's wife. In
ondo, as in other Yoruba land, property belongs to the
wife/wives and the children of the deceased. It is shared
as Ori o ju ori i.e equally among the children (including
girls), or as Idi'ig i.e equally among the wives (were the
man has more than one wife), though, the eventual
beneficiaries are the children. Where the
widow has no child, she may not get any thing from her
husband's property. It reverts back to his family.
SOUTHEAST -ANAMBRA STATE
In Ogidi town, in Idemili L.G.A., the mourning period is
one year during which time, the widow is restricted to the
house where she sits on the bare floor for four weeks and
her hair is scraped. She is not allowed to talk, laugh,
shake hands or greet people, bake cook. Her attire is
called "Ogodo upa, that is, "mud cloth" After seven weeks,
she removes the "mud cloth" and wears "the ikpim, that is,
a pitch black mourning dress" for the rest of the year.
Peculiar to this people is the "etum afa, that is "praise
naming" which the widow performs (mandatory) three times a
day.
In
Nanka town, Orumba L.G.A. the only peculiarity of this
people is that the widow is forbidden to see the corpse of
her husband. Christianity or not, "... any widow who
contravenes this customs laterality ceases to exist... She
neither buys from nor sell to any other member of the
community. All men run away from her... She is avoided
like death...." . In Ogbunka town, still in Orumba South
L.G.A., a widow is secluded behind the house immediately
the husband dies. The Umuada force her to observe the
routine wailing from morning till night for many days.
This widow is in turn expected to provide the oku awa i.e.
yam meal with a chicken, for the Umuada (on daily basis).
In
Ezira and Nawfija, "the widow is put in a cage" She is
allowed to sit on a mat or mattress inside her "cage"
though she does not sleep there. According to these
people, the widow is "... most vulnerable to physical
pains inflicted on her by vicious mourners, who are in the
habit of throwing their whole weight on the victim, in the
guise of deep sympathy." The widow wears either black or
white for seven months at the end of which, she wears
another dress for the remaining five months that is
neither black nor white.
In
Akili-Ogidi town, in Ogbaru L.G.A.,
widowhood practice is the same as in Ogidi town except
that, "the widow does here evening crying shift through
the onu ntapa, that is, a chink in the wall. She must also
be facing the west... throughout the first twenty eight
days after the burial..." Because of civilization however,
the working class widow is allowed to return to work after
the short bereavement leave granted her. However, no widow
is allowed to step out of her husbands compound on her own
feet. She mut be"...carried by a man out of the compound
to.. The road, to take transport to her destination."
SOUTH SOUTH -EDO STATE
In Bini land, widowhood rights are in two stages. First,
the widow is confined to a room outside the family house
for seven days immediately after the interment of the
deceased husband. She is dressed in black with her hair
left unkempt and, she is not allowed to take her bath. She
must look mournful and sober and must cry, morning and
evening. On the seventh day, a wake keeping ceremony is
held and the widow is forbidden (by custom) to sleep
because, the spirit of the dead man will come around and
kill her if she is found sleeping! On the same day, she
perform the semi-purification rites by taking her bath
around 4.am at a road junction (all alone). Her safe
return proves her innocence.
The Second stage of mourning begins at the
end of the seventh day. The widow smears herself and her
clothing with black charcoal and remains so for three
months. At the end of the third month, the final
purification, which admits her into the society, is
performed. On inheritance, both the widow and property are
inheritable objects.
Among the Esan, the practice is almost the same but for
some little differences. During the seven days of
mourning, the widow carries an Ikhmin, which is a many
sided plant which is used to wade off evil spirit. She is
also forbidden to sleep on the night preceding the seventh
day because, it is believed that, the husband will visit
and carry her away if she sleeps! A widow in Esan however,
takes "... her bath in the night at a burial ground or at
some obscure or isolated spot..." 14 and she shoots an
arrow into the bush afterwards, to deter the late husband
from coming near her again.
Throughout the three months mourning
period, a pot containing some leaves believed to wade off
evil, is left burning on the stove. The widow performs the
purification rites after three months, which includes her
hair, being shaved. On inheritance, a wife cannot inherit,
rather; she is part of the "objects" to be inherited.
In Agenebode land, women here have
different status/order of birth. A woman is either Amoya,
a title that is highly respected and cherished because in
marriage, she is given out totally or, she is Adegbe, a
title that allows the woman to stay in her father's house
even after marriage. Northing is done is her father's
house without consulting her. As a result of these
differences, varying degree of rights and privileges are
given to them.
When an Amoya is widowed, one of her
sister-in-law who is an Adebge will assist her to wear a
white hand woven pant. This she wears for one whole year
without washing or changing. She stays indoors and can't
even go to the market or church. Her hair is scraped and,
she is in total seclusion wearing only black. By virtue of
her birth, she remains in her husband's house for life. If
she accepts toe be inherited, she performs the
purification right to legitimize the transfer. If she does
not want to be inherited, she performs another rite to
appease the family's ancestors. Her son inherits the
property of the deceased if she
happens to have the first son, this does not however
transfer ownership of the property to her.
The situation is different, when an Adebge
is widowed. She does not go through all the rites an Amoya
goes through.
Her hair and that of her children is scraped on the fifth
day after the death. Wearing of black is her choice and
her movement is not restricted for one day, she goes about
her normal business. The issue of inheritance does not
arise for her because, she goes back to her father's house
as soon as the man dies though, she is free to stay (if
she so desires), without any obligation to the family of
the late husband. If she is the mother of the first son,
he inherits all his father's property.
NORTH CENTRAL - BENUE STATE
The burial practice here is that, the man is buried almost
immediately he dies. The widow is restricted to one place,
however, if she is still within childbearing age, she is
restricted to one room. She cannot go to the toilet
unaccompanied; neither can she go to the farm to get food,
even for her children.
Among the Etulo people, a widow is confined
in mourning for three months during which it would be
confirmed if she is pregnant or not. Her only attire is a
piece of cloth called bento, which has a ritual object
ascribed to it. This cloth is tied round the waist of the
deceased man, and the widow now wears it as a symbol of
her sexual relationship with the late husband. It is also
believed that, this bento deters the widow from any act o
"... flirtation or promiscuity before she is culturally
freed from widowhood." 15. After the three months of
mourning, she prepares for the outing ceremony. Her hair
is shaved during this period and, she exchanges the bento
for a white dress, which, she also stops wearing after
outing ceremony. On the issue of inheritance, the Etulo
are a matrilineal society. A barren widow has no rights to
any of her late husband's property. Even where the widows
have children, the property still goes to the maternal
relationships who may out of good will and pity give part
of it to his children.
Among the Idomas, the widow mourns for at
least one year wearing sackcloth. She performs the
cleansing/outing ceremony with the help of her age grade
(peers) at he end of the mourning period. This done, she
is free to remarry either within or outside of the family.
In Idoma land, the late man's property belongs to his
relations.
The widow has no share in his property neither do his
children, if they are still very young. If however, the
children are adults, the property is shared between them
and their father's relations.
NORTH
WEST - KANO STATE
In this part of the country, inheritance issue are
according to Islamic injunctions. The widow observes the
Takaba i.e a four-month, ten-day mourning period in
seclusion talking to no one and sitting in a place.
However, there are accounts of widows who are barred:
"(a) From leaving the room where the corpse was laid:
sleeping on a comfortable bed; (b) taking a normal route
to the toilet; (c) observing personal hygiene; (d) wearing
long hair; (e) moving about; (f) taking normal bath; (g)
seeing the inside of the grave (h) eating pounded yam; and
(i) fowl, goat meat..." 16
After the mourning, a widow is free to
remarry within or outside the family. On the issue of
inheritance, the manner in which the property of the
deceased is shared is explicitly stated in the Qur'an.
However, human factors, especially the relationship of the
widow to her in-laws, education of the apportioning
parties and cultural leanings have brought about
injustices in property sharing.
REFERENCES:
1. The Guardian Newspaper, Saturday, January 26, 2002 p.
16
2. Ibid., p. 16
3. Edited b y: Bolaji Owasanoye and Babatunde Ahonsi,
Widowhood in Nigeria: Issues, Problems and Prospects, p. 2
4. Ibid., p. 5
5. Rights and widowhood Rites in Nigeria. Published by:
Inter-African Committee (Nigeria) on Traditional Practices
Affecting the Health of Women and Children, Lagos,
Nigeria, P. 15
6. Okoye, Pat U., Widowhood: A Natural or Cultural
Tragedy, Nucik Publishers, Enugu, p. 83
7. Ibidi., p. 84
8. Ibidi., p. 85
9. Ibidi., p. 90
10. Ibidi., p. 91
11. Ibidi., p. 91
12. Ibidi., p. 100
13. Ibidi., p. 101
14. Rights and Widowhood Rites in Nigeria. Op. cit. p. 34
15. Okoye, Pat U., Op. cit., p. 52
16. Rights and Widowhood Rites in Nigeria,
Op. cit. P. 68
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